Culturally Speaking

Raising children abroad can be an incredible experience. It can also be lonely, overwhelming, and sometimes surprisingly complicated.

There’s the excitement of discovering a new place, learning how another culture works, and watching your children experience a world that may be very different from the one you grew up in.

But there are also the moments when you miss home. You miss your family, familiar foods, traditions, and holidays. You miss hearing your language everywhere you go. Sometimes you even miss the version of yourself that existed before you moved.

I’m realizing that raising children abroad isn’t necessarily about choosing between where you’re from and where you live now. It’s about figuring out how to create a sense of home wherever you are and giving your children the opportunity to grow up connected to all the different parts of their identity.

There is no perfect formula for raising kids abroad, but there are a few things that have made the experience easier, more meaningful, and, sometimes, a little less overwhelming.

1. Build Your Village

You really do need a village.

And when you’re raising children away from your home country, building that village can take a little more intention.

Look for people who understand what it’s like to live abroad. Make friends with other parents. Join local or expat groups. Find community through school, activities, neighborhood groups, work, religious organizations, or online communities.

And don’t be afraid to accept or pay for help.

Sometimes our idea of “doing it all ourselves” gets in the way of actually enjoying this experience. A babysitter, cleaner, childcare provider, or occasional extra set of hands can make an enormous difference.

Your village doesn’t have to look the way you imagined it would. It doesn’t have to be made up entirely of relatives or people you’ve known forever. It just needs to exist!

2. Don’t Lose Yourself in Parenthood

This is easier said than done, especially when you’re parenting far away from family. Somewhere between school drop-offs, meals, laundry, activities, work, and everything else that comes with raising children, it can become very easy to lose touch with yourself.

Make time for yourself every day, even if it’s only five minutes. Drink your coffee while it’s still hot. Take a walk. Read a few pages of a book. Sit quietly. Call a friend. Listen to music that reminds you of home.

The goal is to always reconnect with yourself and remember that you are still a person outside of being a parent.

Ask your partner for help. Ask a friend. Use your village. Hire help when you can. You don’t have to wait until you’re completely exhausted to deserve a break.

And sometimes, taking care of yourself abroad also means finding pieces of the person you were before you moved and making room for them in the life you’ve created now.

3. Keep Your Language and Culture Alive

One of the biggest gifts we can give our children when raising them abroad is a connection to where they come from.

That connection doesn’t have to be complicated. Read books in your language. Listen to songs. Watch TV shows and movies from home. Cook the foods you grew up eating. Tell stories about your childhood. Celebrate holidays and traditions. Play games you remember playing as a child.

Let your children hear the language naturally, not only when you’re trying to “teach” it. If you have family back home, find ways to keep those relationships alive too. Video calls can help, but nothing quite compares to spending time together in person when that’s possible.

And if you have the opportunity to travel to your home country or have family come visit you, embrace it. Let your children experience your culture beyond what happens inside your home.

Your children may not always appreciate them when they’re young. But one day, they may be grateful that you gave them access to a world that they probably wouldn’t have had otherwise.

4. Create a Rhythm That Works for Your Family

There is so much pressure to find the “right” way to parent. When you’re raising kids abroad, that pressure can feel even stronger because you’re surrounded by different ideas about what family life is supposed to look like.

Different countries have different approaches to school, bedtime, meals, childcare, activities, independence, and family life.

Take what works for you and leave what doesn’t. Maybe your children thrive on a very structured schedule. Maybe your family is more spontaneous. Maybe you follow some traditions from your home country and others from the country where you live. Embrace it!

You don’t have to recreate the life you had back home. And you don’t have to completely adopt the life around you, either. You can create something that belongs to your family.

Find a rhythm that makes your family’s life feel manageable, comfortable, and enjoyable.

5. Let Yourself Be a Beginner

This one can be hard. When you move abroad, you’re suddenly learning so many things at once.

Maybe you’re learning a new language. Figuring out the school system. Trying to understand local customs. Navigating healthcare. Learning how grocery shopping works. Trying to make friends. Figuring out how birthday parties, playdates, and everyday life work in your new environment.

And then you’re expected to parent on top of all of that.

Give yourself permission to be a beginner. You don’t have to understand everything immediately. Ask questions. Make mistakes. Get lost. Mispronounce things. Laugh at yourself.

And let your children see you learning, too. There is something powerful about showing our kids that being new at something isn’t something to be embarrassed about.

You are modeling curiosity, resilience, and the willingness to keep trying. And eventually, the things that once felt foreign start to feel ordinary.

6. Create Your Own Sense of Home

Home abroad isn’t necessarily something you find: sometimes it’s something you build.

Maybe it’s the Sunday breakfast you make every week. The books on your children’s shelves. A playlist from home. A favorite family meal. Friends who become family. Your favorite neighborhood café. A tradition you created after moving.

Maybe it’s calling grandparents every Sunday or celebrating a holiday in a way that combines traditions from both places.

Over time, those little things begin to transform an unfamiliar place into somewhere that feels like yours.

And this is one of the beautiful things about raising children abroad: you don’t necessarily have to choose one definition of home. You can create your own!

Your children can grow up knowing that home can be more than one place, one language, or one culture.

7. Remember Why You Chose This Life

This one is probably the hardest.

There will be days when you miss home. Days when you miss your family. Days when you only want to hear your own language. Days when you crave a particular food, a familiar tradition, or simply the comfort of knowing how things work.

When those days come, let yourself miss home. You don’t have to convince yourself that everything about living abroad is wonderful all the time.

But when homesickness takes over, try to remember why you chose to live where you do.

What brought you there in the first place? What did you hope your children would experience? What parts of your life today would you never have had if you hadn’t taken the leap?

Homesickness has a way of making us remember only what we’re missing. Going back to the why can help you remember what you’re gaining, too.

Raising Kids Between Worlds

Maybe the biggest lesson I’ve learned is that raising children abroad isn’t about creating a perfect balance between two cultures.

Some days you’ll feel completely at home where you are. Other days, you’ll wonder what you’re doing there.

Our children are growing up with the opportunity to see the world from more than one perspective.

They can learn that there isn’t only one way to speak, eat, celebrate, communicate, make friends, or call a place home. They can grow up understanding that identity isn’t always one thing. And that’s one of the greatest gifts we can give them!

Raising kids abroad isn’t just about raising children in another country. It’s about building a life together: one that honors where you came from, embraces where you are, and leaves room for wherever you’re going next.